Need Help Pursuing Fellowship?
If you are like most Christians, you realize your need for true fellowship (not just surface chit-chat). You want to get to know other believers and you want friends who know you and your struggles. You want to be able to get to know other believers well so that you can serve them and speak truth to them in love.
But, if you are like me--and most Christians I know--you may have trouble figuring out how to get to those good, deep, spiritual conversations. I'd like to offer a couple of resources that we've found helpful here at GFC. Neither is new to us--which is probably why they're good--but we love them both.
The first is a document listing some accountability and authenticity questions for men. This was originally created for our men's meetings some time ago, but several of our men have taken them and used them with great success in one-on-one friendship and mentoring relationships.
The second is a document that we created to help some of our leadership team grow in our understanding of how to open up spiritual conversations with people and 'drive to the heart' with our questions. It's based on David Powlison's list of X-Ray Questions.
What's great about lists of questions like this is that they don't have to be all that you use. They are not a script or a formula. But they are helpful resources for learning the art of skillfully asking questions and helping people uncover issues in their hearts. As we identify with them where their hearts are tuned away from God and help point them to God we're fulfilling both great commandments: we're loving God and loving others.
I hope you find these helpful!
Samuel and Confronting Sin
In the Lord's providence, we finished up our morning series in James and our evening series in Galatians on this past Sunday. It was quite interesting to me that both sermons finished with exhortations to Christians to be confronting sin in the lives of their brothers and sisters.
As I sat and listened to my friend Paul preach on Sunday evening on a topic very similar to how my message had ended on Sunday morning, I thought to myself, 'What is the Lord teaching us? What is he preparing us for as a church?'
This morning I was reading from 1 Samuel 12, and came across a very relevant passage. Here Samuel, the outgoing judge, has just appointed Saul as the king of Israel. Samuel then addresses the people and confronts their sin. While this is not the main intention of the passage, I think there are some great truths to be gleaned here when it comes to addressing sin in the lives of others.
- Samuel spelled out their sin for them.
Samuel didn't allude vaguely to some things that they had done which might be considered wrong, but he had specific sin in mind when he addressed the people, and he was direct in letting them know what it was they had done wrong. He called sin sin. Where they had rejected God and preferred other things, he showed them. They were not left guessing as to what he was really getting at, or whether or not it was actually sin. - Samuel let them feel the weight of their sin.
Granted, Samuel had a pretty cool trick up his sleeve when he was able to make a thunderstorm appear (I don't know how many of us will be able to use that one), but one thing he was sure to do was show them how serious their sin was. He didn't let them get away with a merely intellectual acknowledgement of their sin. He made sure they felt it. When Samuel had showed them their sin and how it had angered God, 'all the people greatly feared the Lord .... all the people said to Samuel, "Pray for your servants to the Lord your God, that we may not die...".' His conviction about their sin had resulted in their own conviction, confession, and repentance. - Samuel offered the grace of God.
When they had experienced genuine conviction for their sin, Samuel said, 'Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart.' In other words, 'Yeah, you've blown it pretty bad. But trust in the Lord and he will forgive you. Remember, he wants your whole heart.' - Samuel assures them with the best reason to hope.
Why should they trust him? Why should we trust God that we'll be forgiven when we're confronted with the reality of our sin? We should hope because of who God is: he will never change. Samuel offers this to his people: 'For the Lord will not forsake his people, for his great name's sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you a people for himself.' In other words, God won't forsake you, because he's put his own name on you. You're his people, called by his name and it has been his good will to make you that way. To forsake you now would be to forsake the pursuit of his own glory and his own joy--something which could never, ever happen. God will be faithful to you, because he cannot and will not abandon his pursuit of his own glory and the display of his righteousness. What a comforting thought! Unless God changes, I can never be forsaken. We who are Christians--who live this side of the cross chronologically--can look back and see that faithfulness of God to his people and the committedness of God to his own people infinitely more than even Samuel could. What comfort in the face of conviction!
This all calls for balance and wisdom. I pray that God will give me grace to be able to pursue my brothers and sisters, to confront them on specific sins, to let them feel the weight of those sins which cost Christ his life, but then to offer the grace of God and the comfort of his promised faithfulness.
Joy in Saints
The other night as we were standing in church, singing at the beginning of our prayer meeting, I was overwhelmed by God's grace. The songs that Joshua and our 'Band of Brothers' choose to lead us in worship are always theologically-rich and packed with scriptural truth, so the fact that I would be overwhelmed by grace is nothing new.
This time, however, it wasn't because of the words that we were singing but because of the people who were singing them. All around me I could hear the voices of the saints of Grace Fellowship Church--and they were praising God for his glorious, condescending love that he shows in the gospel.
Our preaching pastor has been away on sabbatical for the past 10 weeks or so, and so much of the pastoral ministry has fallen to me. It has been my absolute delight to see how the saints at GFC have opened up their ears and their lives to me over this summer. Each of them has been a blessing to me as I've watched them struggle, grow, deepen in their love for Christ, wrestle with hard texts, live through difficult family situations, try to discern God's will for their lives, endure pain, and much more.
As we sang, I heard their voices and was reminded of the myriads of things going on in each of their lives, and all the potential reasons that each of them would have to doubt God and his goodness. But by his grace, each of them stood and sang as a testimony of their ongoing faith and trust in Christ to sustain them through all seasons of this life.
His grace is truly amazing, and their singing through the seasons of their lives showed me that on Wednesday night. Even thinking about it now brings to mind a verse from one of my favourite psalms (although I'm still trying to find a psalm that's not one of my favourites...):
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.
Fellowship
When our TAG ('Truth Application Group') finished up last week we were sharing with each other what we had learned through the group and during the time period of the group. For me, the answer had several parts, but one of the main things that I've been thinking about since we started meeting (and one of the things that's been the greatest blessing to my heart!) is the topic of fellowship.
Too many people use the word and never think about what it means. 'Fellowship' is roughly synonymous with 'participation'; in fact, one Greek word is translated as either 'fellowship' or 'participation' throughout the NT. To have fellowship, then, means something like 'to participate in something along with another person who is also participating in the same thing.'
Christian fellowship is even more specific, though. 1 John teaches that because we're in Christ, we have fellowship with God (within the life of the Triune God himself). We have fellowship with one another, then, when we each participate in the life of God and share that experience with each other so that each of us can better experience the life of God (by sharing the other's experience of the life of God).
That's all really wordy and convoluted, so I asked my cousin and really cool graphic designer, Josh Rivers, to do a little graphic for me. It's below.
What I want to highlight from the above picture is this: shared life experiences does not equal fellowship. Just having things in common in this life (ie. being the same age, same marital status, same life stage, etc.) is not fellowship. Fellowship is sharing in each other's experience of the life of God. It is necessarily God-centred and God-focused.
The lesson from that is this: If we choose our Christian friends the same way the world chooses their non-Christian friends (ie. how are you like me? what earthly things do we have in common? are we the same age / gender? do you have the same interests?) we're missing out on more than just fellowship with each other. We're missing out on wonderful, new experiences in the life of God. What a shame!
Below is another graphic from Josh. This one simply shows how as each one grows closer to God and experiences more of his life, it increases the true fellowship that each person can have with each other.
Do you want to be a good friend to a brother or sister? Grow closer to God and you will be inviting them into the life of God, revealing God to them. This is the essence of friendship.
Thoughts on Communion with God as Friendship
Thomas Goodwin offers these thoughts on communion with God as friendship, and how this concept should shape our devotional life. Do we serve out of duty or delight?
Mutual communion is the soul of all true friendship and a familiar converse with a friend hath the greatest sweetness in it ... [so] besides the common tribute of daily worship you owe to [God], take occasion to come into his presence on purpose to have communion with him. This is truly friendly, for friendship is most maintained and kept up by visits; and these, the more free and less occasioned by urgent business ... they are, the more friendly they are. ... We use to check our friends with this upbraiding, You still [always] come when you have some business, but when will you come to see me? ... When thou comest into his presence, be telling him still how well thou lovest him; labour to abound in expressions of that kind, than which ... there is nothing more taking with the heart of any friend.
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As cited in JI Packer, A Quest for Godliness (Wheaton: Crossway, 1990), 208.