My Little Monsters
Okay, so they seem nice--and sometimes even shy--when you meet them. But at home? They're monsters!
Here's proof.
Giving Thanks
God has been so good to me in blessing me with my family. This season is always one which is characterized by a lot of thanksgiving for me. Over the next month or so we've got a lot of birthdays in our family, so it gives me opportunity to reflect on all God's gifts to me.
Today is Caitlyn's fourth birthday. Because she and Susannah are less than a year apart I've got two four year olds for the next ten days. Just the other day the two of them informed me that this now means they are twins.
While their powers of deduction may not be as finely honed as I hope they will be some day, I'm thankful to God for these two precious gifts. They fill my life with joy, they humble me, and they make me love my God more.
Letting My Love Serve Me
This week I’m taking something of a ‘working vacation’ at the family cottage. Last night as I was doing the dishes I was thinking back over the day that was. I got thinking about each of my children and how much I love them. Each of them owns my heart in a very unique way. Each of them has a smile, a laugh, a facial expression, some moment of pure joy on their face that is forever etched on my memory.
There is simply no love quite like a father for his children. There is nothing that makes me feel better than knowing my children are safe, protected, and provided for. And there is nothing that strikes terror into the core of my being like the thought of my children suffering. The thought of any one of my precious girls in pain or sadness makes me instantly recoil emotionally. I get a sick feeling in my gut and I’m instantly overcome with the awareness that I would do anything—anything—to end their suffering and to make them happy again.
I thought about that and I was overwhelmed by awareness of this love that owns me and moves me without me even being consciously aware of it most days.
And then I thought about the heavenly Father and his love. Filled with infinitely more love for his Son—a perfect love for a perfect Son—he willingly chose to ‘give’ him for a world of sinners. He gave him, knowing that he would be mocked, belittled, shamed, abused, scorned, rejected, beaten, stripped naked, and killed: publicly displayed as one bearing the curse of God. That’s a love I know nothing of.
But the love is greater still. Ponder these words, of the Son to the Father:
“Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me.” (Mark 14.36)
My love for my children, being nothing like the heavenly Father’s love, would have been moved to give in, to compromise. But the Father of Jesus has bigger, greater love; his love for Jesus’s glory and for my good is too great to be moved. He was willing to deny his True Son’s request for the good of his soon-to-be adopted sons & daughters. The love of the Father was planned and determined.
Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief…. (Isaiah 53.10)
“Awake, O sword, against my shepherd, against the man who stands next to me,” declares the Lord of hosts. [I will] strike the shepherd….” (Zechariah 13.7; [cf. Mark 14.27])
His love is not just a love that would allow his Son to be sacrificed; his love is a love that would willingly crush his Son. He gave his Son, knowing that he himself would have to give full vent to his holy wrath against his Son on the cross. The Father who loves the Son, crushed the son… for me.
No matter how overwhelming my love for my children may be, it doesn’t hold a candle to my heavenly Father’s love, in scope, in purpose, in depth, in power, or in steadfastness.
I want to make it my prayer that whenever I think of my love for my children, I would let that love serve me by pointing me to the true love of the true Father who, in the gospel, has loved and who continues to love with a greater love than eternity will allow me to explore. Human love serves its best and noblest purpose when it doesn’t end with us, but points us to the one who is love, and who has shown us love in his Son, Jesus.
... but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5.8)
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. (1 John 3.1)
An Honest Look Into Our Family Devotions
An example of what our family devotions do NOT look like.
Okay, men. Let's talk family devotions. Feel guilty yet?
There are few ways to make Christian men feel guilty more easily or quickly than to talk about family devotions. We all know we should be doing it. We see the importance of being the spiritual leaders in our home. We all know that as fathers we bear the primary responsibility for bringing our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And we know that family devotions is the most practical way most of us can regularly and deliberately do this.
We know that. But most of us fail. And those of you who don't fail, just know that you're despised by the rest of us, okay?
One of the reasons why we fail, I think, is because we experience the typical male disease of thinking we have to have everything planned out and that we have to carry out all the details of our plans to perfection. I know sometimes my desire to have all my "i's" dotted and "t's" crossed has paralyzed me from taking any action -- which is pretty much the worst case scenario. What I've found over the past little while to be most helpful and most effective is this: Just do something! Profound, right? Do something and don't worry if it's not perfect.
Here's an honest look at our family devotions from tonight (and yes, this is a verbatim transcription):
Me: (Reading Proverbs 10) A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
Susie (my 4 year old): Daddy, I know something!
Me: (Excited! She is interacting with the Word!) What is it, Sue?
Susie: Carrots are vegetables!
Me: *Audible sigh...* (Thinking: Man, you're good at this Bible teaching thing... are you a professional?)
So, as you can see, we are a wonderful example of not doing things perfectly. I don't always have anything good to say. Our kids don't always listen. Sometimes I wonder if they're even getting anything out of it.
But here's the thing. Whether or not they get anything out of that particular night, I hope that they are blessed by the cumulative effect. I hope that win, lose, or die trying, my kids will see that their parents love them enough to open up the word to them consistently, deliberately, intentionally, and lovingly. I hope that they see that because we treasure them so much we must take them to the truth we treasure most -- and we must do it consistently. I hope that as they age the composite image of their parents that they are left with is Christians who love them and who love the word of God. I hope that they see our life is found in this book, which tells us of him who is True Life.
So, men, how about some family devotions? You don't have to do them perfectly or even perfectly consistently. But are you at least doing something?
Pastor Paul Martin
There is simply no way I could reflect on the 30 years of life God has given me without reflecting on the role of my uncle-pastor-mentor-brother-friend, Paul Martin. There is also no way I could do justice to the influence he has had on my life in a blog post. But I need to try because (1) I'm reflecting on my life, and, (2) it's Paul's birthday today (I won't tell you how old, but I will tell you he is old).
So I think I will proceed by simply reflecting on the different capacities in which Paul has influenced me. For each heading I'll try to identify what I've seen of God's grace working through Paul, and then the impact that it has had on me.
As an Uncle
What I've Seen: Growing up in Toronto with an uncle in seminary in California made Paul more of a mystery to me than anything. But from the conversations we did have and from the little I saw him in summers, I knew Paul to be a man who loved God and loved his word. Paul loved me even though I gave him every reason to dislike me as a bratty child. His warmness to me as I grew to a teenager opened the necessary relational door for me to hear the gospel from him later. As an uncle he took an interest in my life and that made a difference.
What I've Learned: I've learned simply that family can be powerfully used of God to shape us in a gospel sense. Family relationships can become powerful spiritual relationships as well. I pray that God gives me grace as an uncle, as a nephew, as a cousin, as a brother, to develop meaningful relationships with my extended family that will open doors for the gospel in the future.
As a Pastor
What I've Seen: As I often tell people, more than being influenced by one particular sermon (though I can remember several particular sermons), the effect of Paul's ministry has been a cumulative one. That is, week by week he has shown me again and again the glory of God in the gospel of Jesus. He has shown me the sufficiency of the Scriptures. He has shown me the grace of God that has changed my life. He preached the gospel faithfully, I heard, repented, believed, was baptized, and have grown to some measure of maturity (as small as that measure may be) because he was faithful to the word. Every week I would come to church fully expecting to be shown something of God from the one place he may be found: his word. And I've never been disappointed. Not one single Sunday.
What I've Learned: That a pastor is called first and foremost to minister to God's people according to their real need, not their felt needs. A doctor would be a fool for trying to treat symptoms without first addressing the real issue causing the problems, but many foolish pastors (no matter how well-meaning) abandon the call to 'preach the word in season and out of season' because they think there are more pressing issues that need to be dealt with. But in the word, God has dealt with our real needs, our heart needs: the ones that he, as the great physician of souls, has identified. I pray that God would make me faithful to the word, like Paul.
As a Mentor
What I've Seen: Paul took an interest in me as a punk teenager (literally... I was in a punk band... scary thought). I had very little to offer and not much to commend myself to him. I failed him early, often, and bitterly. That's been the consistent pattern. But he was patient, modelling the gospel, absorbing the pain I inflicted, forgiving me as God in Christ has forgiven him. He gave me hope, he gave me chances to succeed or to fail, and he gave me sound teaching, advice, counsel, and did not shy back from rebuke. I am forever thankful. All his counsel was sweet and the wounds were always faithful.
What I've Learned: The gospel takes people who are nothing, people who have nothing to offer and no way to repay and invests in them, gives them grace, and gives them life. The gospel redeems people so that their lives can become meaningful and significant for Christ's sake. That's what Paul did for me. That's the pattern I pray I can follow in mentoring others: injecting people with gospel-life and hope and giving them opportunities to succeed or to fail, but always being patient and speaking truth, calling on people to make their lives meaningful for Christ.
As a Friend and Brother in Christ
What I've Seen: As a brother in Christ and as a friend, Paul has let me close. He has let me in his home, in his family, in his ministry. I've seen him in every context of life I can think of. Here's what I've seen: He's not perfect. Far from it. He's a sinner saved by grace... who still sins. But instead of becoming hardened by his sin with his (old) age, I've seen an ever-increasing sensitivity to sin and an ever-increasing sense of his need of grace in the cross and resurrection of Jesus. Watching Paul these past 14 years especially I can honestly tell you that he cherishes the cross more now than ever. Rather than growing in pride or judgmentalism, he has grown in humility and awareness of his need of grace. As a young man, I cannot possibly express to you how counter-worldly and ultimately hope-giving it is to watch your mentor and your hero in the faith grow in humility. The gospel has progressed in Paul; the gospel is progressing in Paul; the gospel is working in Paul.
What I've Learned: I've learned that Paul is a man, like his namesake, whose life (because of God's grace) allows him to say, 'be imitators of me, as I am of Christ' (1 Cor 4.16; 1 Cor 11.1; 1 Thess 1.6). I pray that God would make me a man whose life, upon inspection by friends and brothers, does not disqualify me. I've learned from knowing Paul, from observing his life, that God takes sinners and uses them to move mountains. Through his work in Paul, God saved me, called me to ministry, and equipped me through the training Paul has given me.
As a Gift
Of all the good gifts my heavenly Father has given me, one of the most dear and precious of them all is my uncle-pastor-mentor-friend-brother Paul. I am forever thankful to my Father for him, and today, on his birthday, as I reflect on my life, I want to publicly give thanks to God for Paul.
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** This is written as part of the series 30 for 30: Reflections on Life at My 30th Birthday **
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