A friend of mine sent me this article by Abraham Piper the other day. I found it profoundly humbling and helpful. (When is humbling ever not helpful??)
Anyway, I thought I’d pass this along because even though it’s three years old, it’s always relevant.
My wife and I were fighting—the kind where after 30 seconds you forget what you’re fighting about and you just end up being mean. It doesn’t take long in an argument like this to feel hopeless.
I wanted to call someone to come over and mediate. Actually, I didn’t want to, but I knew I needed to do something. Our close friends who live near by and our small group leaders were all out of town, so I called a pastor who lives in the neighborhood and asked him to come over right then. I think he could tell by the tone of my voice and the unusual request that we really did need help immediately. He cancelled his Saturday plans and came over.
Sitting at our kitchen table, he helped us figure each other out. Soon we were getting to the heart of the matter. Molly turned to me and said, “You never treat me like you appreciate me.”
I looked at her. I looked at our pastor. And then I listed three ways that I’d shown appreciation for her that morning. As far as I was concerned, things were taken care of. She thought I didn’t act appreciatively, but I just showed her (definitively, I might add) that I did. …