Freed to live through the death of another.

My Grandad

‘You are good and do good…’ — Psalm 119.68

At about 5.00pm last night my Lord saw fit to take my Grandfather from this earth. I continue to sway between having to ‘not think about it’ to thanking the Lord for the years he gave me with Grandad, to crying out of sheer sadness.

I can’t describe the ways I loved Grandad; and to be honest I’m still processing it all.

He was a man who never had to say he loved me for me to know it. He was strong to the core, but always gentle with his grandchildren. He was kind and generous.

I was about one year old when my parents divorced, and my mom and my brother and I moved in with my grandparents. Though he had worked practically every day for his whole life, never slacking off for a moment, he cheerfully shared all that he had with our little family so that my brother and I could be raised in a nice home, surrounded by family who loved us.

I lived with Grandad for 17 years (and ask anyone who knew me, I was a brat for those years), but he never once made me feel unwelcome in his home.

On top of that Grandad and Nana would take us to the cottage every summer growing up for all of July and August. I have countless memories of boat rides, euchre games, badminton matches, cottage-painting, lawn-mowing and boat-making together with Grandad in what seemed like endless hours of cottage fun.

I owe who I am in large part to him, his example of hard work, and his endless kindness to me.

He was a good man.

But he was a man, and that meant his day would come. It seemed good to the Lord that his day should be yesterday. I cannot question my God. His wisdom is unsearchable, his grace immeasurable. But I sure miss my Grandad.

‘The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. … Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?’

‘Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?’

Humans were not made to ever say goodbye.


  1. tomgee

    That’s a beautiful post, Julian. Thank you for sharing about your relationship with your Grandad. I wish I had met him.

    May the Lord, who names himself the Father of mercy and the God of all comfort, pour mercy and abundant comfort on all of you!!

    Thank you, brother.

  2. Jeri

    “Humans were not made to ever say goodbye.”

    Julian, those are true words. Much comfort, peace and strength from our gracious Lord to you and to your family this day.


  3. DErifter

    Your Grandad sounds like a good man, and you’re right to be thankful for the years you had together. You’re also right to be sad. Kerux once wrote a post about the inevitability of death, speaking of our own. It shouldn’t surprise us, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

    God’s peace, bro.

  4. dog lvr

    I really liked hearing your remembrances of Grandad at the funeral, Julian; they really brought back some old memories for me, too. I loved Grandad too.

    Praying for you and the rest of our (extended) family.

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