Recently I’ve come across three articles that I find particularly helpful for wives & mothers. Since I often write about being a husband & father or about parenting in general, I thought it might be nice to offer the reflections of some wives & mothers as well.
Here are three posts that I think are worth your time if you’re a wife and / or a mom (or if you’re married to one).
1. Should How Eternity Shapes Our Mundane
This post is by Gloria Furman on the Desiring God blog. This post is for moms (particularly those with young children).
Children grow up so fast, don’t they? Not a day goes by when I don’t say this to myself or hear it from someone else.
But I don’t always live like this is true; I suffer from bouts of parental amnesia.
Parental amnesia is not just where you walk into a room and forget why you’re carrying the laundry basket with four dirty coffee mugs in it. That’s called normal. Parental amnesia is where we forget about two things: tomorrow and eternity.
First, we forget that Lord-willing our children will grow up to be adults. I have a hard time imagining my 5-year-old as a 35-year-old or a 65-year-old. Her big goals right now are waiting patiently for her first loose tooth and learning to tell what time it is. Sometimes I think she’ll be five forever and do five-year-old things forever.
Second, we forget that our children are more than just potential adults. They are people made in God’s image and they have eternal souls. When the mundane looms larger than eternal life we forget who God is, who we are, and who our children are.
2. Put Off Nagging, Put On Love
This is another post by Gloria Furman, this time on the Gospel Coalition blog. This article is more about the husband-wife relationship.
To Do Lists can be a beautiful thing. But sometimes things get ugly when you become a slave to your To Do List. What’s worse is trying to put shackles on your spouse and make the To Do List their master, too.
One way I try to share my To Do List chains is by nagging.
When I say nagging I am not talking about how I might lovingly mention to my husband that he probably shouldn’t eat that entire cheesecake in one sitting because I can hear his right subclavian artery crying for help.
When I say nagging I mean the stereotypical, habitual, manipulative complaining that we women often try to justify as “reminding.”
Nagging is neither patient, nor kind, nor respectful. It’s impatient, rude, and demeaning. Nagging is not loving; it’s your garden-variety sin. My friend’s attitude toward nagging changed when she saw how her sin offends our holy God and denigrates people made in his image God.
3. Your Children Want You!
This post is written by on a non-Christian site, but the battle for identity, sufficiency and contentedness is definitely one that many Christian women I know can relate to.
There’s this crazy phenomenon going on right now. Good, devoted mothers get on Pinterest . . . and blogs . . . and Facebook . . . and Twitter . . . and then they flip through parenting magazines and TV channels (full of advertisements and media hype) . . . and they’re convinced they’re not enough.
They’re convinced that everyone else has magnetic, alphabetized spice containers, and unless their garden parties are thematically accessorized with butterfly lanterns, and they’re wearing the latest fashions (in a size two, of course), there’s no point in even showing up for the day. Last Saturday, this happened to me.
I came home from a lovely day out with my extended family and had serious intentions to spend the evening dyeing Easter eggs and making bunny buns.
By the time I got everyone settled and fed, however, I was so tired that I just laid on the couch and dozed while my children played and got themselves to bed.
Around 8:30, when I finally had the energy to sit up, I decided to try out Pinterest for a few minutes until my husband got home. There it was–1,000 reasons why I’m failing at all things domestic.
I don’t make grilled cheese sandwiches look like ice cream. I don’t even have seasonal throw pillows on my couches or live plants anywhere in the house.
Is it really so hard? Can’t I pull myself together and wrap some candles in green foliage and bring happiness to our decor with bright fabrics and hand-crafted photo frames?
There’s something deeper going on in family life than can ever be expressed on a social network. Whatever it is we feel we are lacking, can we collectively decide–as deliberate mothers–that we are not going to sit around feeling discouraged about all the things we’re not?
Can we remind each other that it is our uniqueness and love that our children long for? It is our voices. Our smiles. Our jiggly tummies. Of course we want to learn, improve, exercise, cook better, make our homes lovelier, and provide beautiful experiences for our children, but at the end of the day, our children don’t want a discouraged, stressed-out mom who is wishing she were someone else.