That being said, yesterday was an exception--God blessed the preaching of his word in remarkable ways so that it came with great with even more conviction and clarity than normal.

If you are married, ever intend on being married, want to know more about gospel-centred marriage, or know someone who is married, I cannot recommend enough that you listen to this sermon on gospel-centred marriage. You will be convicted and your soul will be blessed and encouraged as you think about how Christ's glory displayed in the gospel is the reason and power for marriage.

Post from: Julian Freeman

A Must-Hear Sermon

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Pastor Tim Kerr on What to Look for in a Spouse

Post from: Julian Freeman

Looking for a Spouse?

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1833 days ago, I made the best decision I've ever made. On January 24, 2004, I proposed to the love of my life. I was astonished when she said 'Yes.'

Come to think of it, she never actually did say 'Yes,' but she did hug me, so I took that as a good sign. Turns out I was right to assume she meant to say yes because she actually married me. By the grace of God, we were married that summer (June 19, 2004), after 5 excruciatingly long months of engagement and anticipation of taking my bride.

Tonight my bride is out of town with some of her friends on a mini-retreat of sorts. That leaves me at home alone listening to love songs and pining after her. Seriously.

In particular, 'Astonished,' by Kepano Green caught my attention tonight as I was finishing up the dishes. It tells the story of meeting a girl, falling in love--being amazed by love--and beginning a life together. That gave me pause to reflect back on the days when I first began to fall in love with my wife.

I think their word is ultimately suitable. I was 'astonished.' I remember that after each date, when I was driving home, I would think to myself, 'How can this be real? How could God have blessed me with this amazing woman? Why in the world does she seem to like me too?'

After we'd been dating for about a month or two, I wrote her a poem. I never showed it to her until the night when I proposed, though, because it talked about us being married, beginning a family, and loving Christ together till old age. I waited to show her to protect her heart, but I knew from the outset that she was the one for me.

I don't think it took Adam very long to figure out that Eve was his completion (Gen 2.22-23), and it didn't take me long either. I know it doesn't work that way for some people, but I knew as soon as I met Stacey that God had made her to be my glory (1 Cor 11.7).

Tonight, five years later, I remain astonished at no less than three things.

1. I'm astonished that she still loves me.

Time after time I have sinned against my bride. Over and over again some horrid sin has overtaken me, or some deep-rooted sinful heart idolatry has been exposed, and I've thought, 'That's it; she can't possibly love me anymore. I'm absolutely unlovable.' But every single time she has shown me love and forgiveness that I can't justify or rationalize. Her love for me has been gospel-love: undeserved and overwhelming. It is enduring and steadfast and forgiving. I'm astonished she still loves me.



2. I'm astonished that I could let a love so extraordinary become 'ordinary.'

Days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years. As time goes past, the things that were once unexpected become expected. Things that were novel become mundane. I begin to expect things from her that I have no right expecting. I don't know how, but somehow in my apathy, I get used to 'being in love.' The admonition I once found superfluous has now become a rebuke: 'Rejoice in the wife of your youth' (Prov 5.18). God forgive me for taking for granted a love that you have so graciously given.



3. I'm astonished at the wisdom and mercy of God in giving her to me.

Of all the lessons I have learned over the past five years since I have proposed, this may well be the one I've learned the most number of times: God made her for me. She is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She is the one created to be at my side. She completes me. She is perfect for me. The wisdom of God in giving her to me is mind-blowing. The areas where she is strong compensate for my weaknesses; her few flaws are in areas where I can assist her, by God's grace. And those areas where we are both weak have caused me to grow in my sanctification in ways that I never would have been motivated to, had God not given her to me. Day after day, year after year, I'm increasingly astonished at the wisdom of God in creating her to be the perfect partner for me.

Praise God for his grace! Tonight I'm praising him for my wife.

Click here to go to Kepano Green's site and buy their CDs. Here are the words to their song 'Astonished.'

Oh the first time I wrote your name on a paper, you were astonished
And we went down and ate by the sea and there you were astonished
When in so many words, I told you how my heart was yours
And me, the stranger, finding favour, there... in your eye

We watched stars and they crossed there in the sky, look there, well I was astonished
And you grew in my heart every night and I was astonished
So I wrote in the air how I was feeling, you wondered what I'd said
Though unaware we were beginning something that would never, never end

I have evidence framed in my room... there you stood so astonished
When I asked you to be with me soon, oh, you were astonished
And I promise you there, we were not dreaming, diamonds were on the sea
And we were aware that this was beginning something that was surely meant to be

Post from: Julian Freeman

Remembering Five Years Ago

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Nick & Alicia make their vows

Christian weddings are one of my favourite things. They just ooze gospel (in the best possible sense). And why wouldn't they? The whole institution of marriage is designed to showcase the love of Christ for his bride (the church), so what better place to glory in that image than a wedding?

This summer was full of weddings for us--which is great. One of the favourite weddings I've ever been at was that of my friends Nick and Alicia Mitchell. This is so for lots of reasons. We were surrounded by friends, it was a day wedding (the whole no dancing scene works great in my two-left-footed-world), and the speeches and music were all gospel-centred and Christ-exalting. The sermon was also stellar.

But the number one thing that makes a wedding good, in my view, is the vows. In the vows, the bride and groom make clear what they think of marriage. What are they setting out to do? What will they promise? What are they committing themselves to?

While most other elements of a wedding are somewhat 'canned,' the vows belong to the bride & groom. They reflect biblical convictions, God-honouring intention, and sobriety. They reveal that the bride & groom have thought long and hard about what marriage is, what marriage symbolizes, and what marriage will demand of them. In the presence of God and many witnesses, each person pledges to honour God as they honour their spouse.

Right away I knew I loved Nick & Alicia's vows. I also loved that they memorized them (further evidence of the seriousness they showed toward their wedding and the commitment they were making). I asked Nick for a copy of their vows so I could post them here for you to see. Enjoy!

Nick’s Vows

Alicia, I know that God has ordained marriage to be a picture of Christ and his bride, the church. On that basis I give you these promises:

I will love you fully and will strive to avoid all things that could quench our love.
I will seek to enjoy you above all of God’s creation.
I will respect you and be the defender of your name.
I will lead you in all things pertaining to godliness through the instruction of God’s Word.
I will aim to put sin to death in my life and humbly serve you just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many.
I reserve my body for you and you alone.
I will stand by you in all times, good or bad, and will help you bear your burdens.
I will never leave you but will forever be your delightful companion in Holy Love and heavenly hopes and duties when all other outward comforts fail.

I pledge you all these things before God.

Alicia’s Vows

Nick, I know that God has ordained marriage to be a picture of Christ and his bride, the church. On that basis I give you these promises:

I will love you fully and will strive to avoid all things that could quench our love.
I will seek to cherish you above all God’s creation, tending each day to our relationship so that the flame of our love does not diminish.
I will place myself under your leadership as your helper, as the church submits herself to the Lordship of Jesus Christ who redeemed her with His blood.
I will reserve my body for you and you alone, and seek to make you the happiest man on earth.
I will stand by you in all times, good or bad, and will help you bear your burdens.
I will never leave you but will forever be your delightful companion in Holy Love and heavenly hopes and duties when all other outward comforts fail.

I pledge you all these things before God.

Two Lucky Dudes, Two Godly (Longsuffering!) Women

Post from: Julian Freeman

Christian Weddings

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Julian: 'Having a wife is like living with a post-modern literary critic: the only meaning that matters is the one determined by the hearer.'

Stacey: 'Living with you is like living with a geek.'

I laughed pretty hard.

Post from: Julian Freeman

Dinner Conversation

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In verse four, the people of God are referred to as 'adulteresses.' Why? Because, in the metaphor of the passage, God is the husband of his people, but their affections and longings are for other lovers. They seek their joy, their pleasures, etc., in the things that this world has to offer. They are cheating on their spouse.

How does God respond to this unfaithful, disrespectful, immoral wife? The next verse tells us: He 'yearns jealously' for her. He remains unchanged in his devotion to her, even though she doesn't long for him. He loves her with a steadfast love, even when she refuses to love him and treats him in the most horrible of ways.

That ought to teach us men something about the way we should husband.

1. It is Good and Right for a Husband to Long for the Affections of His Wife.

Too often the temptation is to slip into apathy. We love the chase while we're dating, but once we're married we presume that we will have her heart. The picture here is of a God who passionately longs to have all of his bride's heart--not just a part. Christian husbands need to consistently pursue the heart of their wife.


2. Our Affections Must Not Be Determined by Hers.

Having a wife whose heart is not 'wholly' yours would be incredibly disheartening. I have seen friends and Christian brothers lamenting over the fact that their wives seem to love anything and everything else more than their husbands. That would be sad--and painful, to be sure. But the husband is to be the leader, and her lack of affections is no excuse for letting yours slide. It was while we were still sinners and had no affection for Christ (other than hatred) that he died to purchase his bride. Christian husbands need to consistently take the lead in expressing and winning loving affections.


3. We Must Not Give Up.

James wrote the very first book (chronologically) in the New Testament, and yet, even by the time he wrote this letter, the church had already proven herself to be an 'adulteress' with desires for other lovers. Just as God did not give up on his people in the Old Testament, we learn here that Christ will not give up on his bride in the New. Christian husbands must never give up, even when their wives sin against them horribly and repeatedly; this is the gospel.


4. Take Heart, You Are In Good Company.

As you seek to faithfully love your wife, with a single-minded devotion to her, and as you seek to win her affections even when she is not loving you in return, you are modelling the heart of God. You are following in the footsteps of Christ who went to the greatest, most extreme length imaginable to win his bride's heart: he died for her. When we die to ourselves and continue to risk being hurt in order to pursue and love our wives, we're in good company: Christ is the one who made the footprints in which we walk. Christian husbands must take heart here when all other outward comforts fail--he who went before us will not abandon us as we follow him.

Post from: Julian Freeman

For Christian Husbands

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