Here's proof.

Post from: Julian Freeman

My Little Monsters

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A fall run through the woods

We've all heard the expression about missing the forest for all the trees. It's easy to do in any area of life, but I've found it especially easy in parenting. At any given point in time there are so many issues that are pressing, so many different things you want to teach, and so many ways you want to express love for your children. How can you find time for it all?

The answer, to be sure, is 'You can't.' There just isn't enough time. No matter how much time I have with my kids, I find there's always more I'd like to say, teach, discipline, instruct, encourage, rebuke, etc. And at the same time I don't want to overwhelm them or frustrate them with too many words, too much instruction, too many demands. Fathers are specifically warned, after all, not to provoke their children to anger (Eph 6.4).

The key to this, as with so many things, is balance. I need to learn to not harp on every little thing I see in them, but to pick my spots, look for moments when little hearts are open and ready to receive instruction, and most of all, make sure I make the main thing the main thing--always.

Unfortunately, I fear that I do a bad job at that. I get so caught up in the presenting issues of the day-to-day that I sometimes lose sight of the big picture issues that my children so desperately need me to emphasize.

Here's a case-in-point: The other night I was putting Susannah & Caitlyn to bed (Maddie had already gone down). I sang a song or two to them and Caitlyn was fast asleep; Susannah, however, was wide awake. I took the opportunity to kneel beside her bed and just chat with her alone in the few quiet minutes we had together. I asked her about her day and what she was happy about. Then I turned the conversation to spiritual things. I asked her, 'What is the one, most important thing in all the world?' She replied: 'Christ died for our sins and was raised!' (with the appropriate actions ).

I was pretty pleased with that.

Then I asked her, 'What is the one greatest commandment that God gives us?' There was no answer; I could tell she was thinking. I decided to help her a little: 'To llll...'. Her face lit up, she knew the answer: 'To listen!'

My heart fell. In that instant my mind went back to family devotions that night after dinner, to the songs we've been teaching the kids, to the things I've been reminding them of lately... over and over and over again I'd been speaking about the trees, but neglecting the forest. In teaching my daughters about how to be wise and what it means to be 'all ears', the unspoken message I'd been communicating to them is that listening is the most important commandment. Somehow in the midst of all the issues I'd completely neglected the heart of the issue, which is 'to love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength, and to love your neighbour as yourself.'

All this 'Christian parenting', but my kids still haven't heard clear, concise, convicting instruction about the one thing that matters more than anything else: their love for God. Sigh. Back to the parenting drawing board... and back to my knees to pray for my kids.

There is very little to be proud about in parenting. The mistakes are many and the painstakingly obvious need for God's intervening grace humbles me continually. I've never been more aware of the fact that if my children will be saved, it will be all because of God's grace in spite of me, rather than because of me.

But there is hope. The next morning at the breakfast table Stace and I spent some time explaining the greatest commandment to the children. I've been convicted of missing the forest and am aiming to make it more of an intentional push in my parenting repertoire. And the Lord loves to use broken, fallen, largely-pathetic humans for his good purposes: it's his way of ensuring that he gets all the glory. And I'm okay with that. I'm just thankful for mercy and hopeful for future grace.

Post from: Julian Freeman

Forest? What Forest?

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Today is Caitlyn's fourth birthday. Because she and Susannah are less than a year apart I've got two four year olds for the next ten days. Just the other day the two of them informed me that this now means they are twins.

While their powers of deduction may not be as finely honed as I hope they will be some day, I'm thankful to God for these two precious gifts. They fill my life with joy, they humble me, and they make me love my God more.

Post from: Julian Freeman

Giving Thanks

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An example of what our family devotions do NOT look like.

Okay, men. Let's talk family devotions. Feel guilty yet?

There are few ways to make Christian men feel guilty more easily or quickly than to talk about family devotions. We all know we should be doing it. We see the importance of being the spiritual leaders in our home. We all know that as fathers we bear the primary responsibility for bringing our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And we know that family devotions is the most practical way most of us can regularly and deliberately do this.

We know that. But most of us fail. And those of you who don't fail, just know that you're despised by the rest of us, okay?

One of the reasons why we fail, I think, is because we experience the typical male disease of thinking we have to have everything planned out and that we have to carry out all the details of our plans to perfection. I know sometimes my desire to have all my "i's" dotted and "t's" crossed has paralyzed me from taking any action -- which is pretty much the worst case scenario. What I've found over the past little while to be most helpful and most effective is this: Just do something! Profound, right? Do something and don't worry if it's not perfect.

Here's an honest look at our family devotions from tonight (and yes, this is a verbatim transcription):

Me: (Reading Proverbs 10) A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.

Susie (my 4 year old): Daddy, I know something!

Me: (Excited! She is interacting with the Word!) What is it, Sue?

Susie: Carrots are vegetables!

Me: *Audible sigh...* (Thinking: Man, you're good at this Bible teaching thing... are you a professional?)

So, as you can see, we are a wonderful example of not doing things perfectly. I don't always have anything good to say. Our kids don't always listen. Sometimes I wonder if they're even getting anything out of it.

But here's the thing. Whether or not they get anything out of that particular night, I hope that they are blessed by the cumulative effect. I hope that win, lose, or die trying, my kids will see that their parents love them enough to open up the word to them consistently, deliberately, intentionally, and lovingly. I hope that they see that because we treasure them so much we must take them to the truth we treasure most -- and we must do it consistently. I hope that as they age the composite image of their parents that they are left with is Christians who love them and who love the word of God. I hope that they see our life is found in this book, which tells us of him who is True Life.

So, men, how about some family devotions? You don't have to do them perfectly or even perfectly consistently. But are you at least doing something?

Post from: Julian Freeman

An Honest Look Into Our Family Devotions

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---------

My Bride, my wife, my lover, my friend,

Don’t worry, I will try to keep this short. I will endeavour with everything in me to not embarrass you.

I will not try my poetry, I will not sing or dance,
I won’t try to be funny, that wouldn’t be romance,
for I know that a show is not what you would like,
and my trying to rhyme would probably seem trite.
And I would not make little of your love for me
because you’ve impressed me these four years and three…

Okay, I’ll stop. But I do want to publicly thank God for you. I remember the moment you appeared in your white dress at the end of the aisle in that little church in Welland. I think my heart actually stopped for moment. I was overwhelmed by God’s goodness to me. That was seven years ago today.

Bride & Groom

You have been a faithful friend, confidant, and support to me through seven years, five jobs, four houses, three children, two churches, and one argument. Okay, maybe more than that. But you’ve loved me, listened to me, supported me, challenged me in all kinds of good ways, and breathed God’s strength into me through your words of encouragement. We have been through much inconsistency these few years together, but you have shown me the meaning of consistency and faithfulness in your love for me.

According to Matt Chandler, Adam’s words when he first saw Eve in the Eden could be paraphrased as ‘She’s mine!’ After seven years of marriage I’ve never felt that more strongly for you. I rejoice at how you ‘fit’ me. You free me up for gospel-labour, you make my home a joyful place to be, you diligently and biblically mother my children, and you constantly remind me that I’m to be leading our family to Christ from a heart that genuinely wants me to lead. I treasure you for how God has made you.

I treasure your wisdom and joy, your humour and courage, your insight and truthfulness, your weakness, and the faith that overcomes it. I love hearing you pray. I love kissing you. I love calling you mine. I love that we think alike when it comes to just about everything.

The moment I decided to marry you was the moment I realized that you made me love God more. You still do. How could I ever thank you for that?

I can’t believe it has been seven years. I can’t believe you still let me hold your hand and call you my own. I can’t believe I’m still such a bad husband. I can’t believe God has given me such a precious gift in you. But I can believe that you are God’s gift to me. You are bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, the source of just about every single blessing in my life. And I praise and thank God for you.

What I thought I saw when you appeared on our wedding day was God’s goodness. What I’ve come to see every day since is that being married to you is a continual experience of coming to understand just how full of wisdom and grace God’s goodness really is. I had no idea then; I’m just beginning to see now.

I thank my God for the woman he has made you, for how you reflect him, and how you make me love him.

Thank you for being my wife,
With all my love,

Julian

------------

** I decided to post this letter here as a part of the series 30 for 30: Reflections on Life at My 30th Birthday. I cannot help thinking of my wife and how God has blessed me through her whenever I reflect on his goodness to me over the course of my life. **

Post from: Julian Freeman

An Open Letter to My Bride on our 7th Anniversary

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Post from: Julian Freeman

Just Because I’m a Proud Daddy

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We spent breakfast this morning talking about the gospel. Thanks to Paul for the memorable little thing with the hand!

In case you can't understand what the girls are saying, it's 'Christ died for our sins and was RAISED!' (1 Corinthians 15:1-7)

Post from: Julian Freeman

The Gospel at Breakfast

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Pronouncing a benediction over them is a means of teaching them the word (I try to memorize biblical benedictions and use those), and invoking God's blessing on them. It's a joy to see how my girls have come to love it and expect it. Tonight I thought Caitie (my two year old) was asleep so I said her blessing silently--but then as I went to walk away, she sat up and asked me in her sleepy voice, 'Daddy, do my blessing!' How precious! I love how Susannah (my three year old) will regularly say the blessing along with me as well. Simply by the repetition, she has now learned a Bible verse that contains precious truths about who God is and what he does for his people.

While there are tremendous benefits of using the biblical benedictions, I've enjoyed modifying them to fit my growing understanding of who God is and what he says he'll do. For example, when John Piper blesses his daughter, he says the Numbers 6 benediction ('The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace') he adds '... and someday, a godly husband.' I love that! It reflects an understanding of God, his blessing, and what a father earnestly desires for his daughter.

When I do that same blessing, I'll often fill out the blessing with some of the most glorious elements of the New Covenant that I've personally been overwhelmed to discover. So for me, it will often be, 'The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance on you and give you peace and life, and hope, and joy.'

Recently, however, as I've been greatly encouraged by reading through the opening books of the Bible I've been freshly reminded of the faithfulness and covenant-keeping nature of God. I've found my heart warmed by thinking about the fact that we are children of the promise to Abraham. I've been challenged by the faithfulness of God through all generations; he never changes!

I was also challenged recently by the testimony of William Kiffin who wrote a memoir not for publication (though he could have easily had it published) but simply as a testimony of God's grace in his life for his children and grandchildren. He wanted them to know who his God was and what he'd done for him.

With those truths in mind, I created a new benediction for my children based on God's self-revelation in Genesis and Exodus, Psalm 103 (which we've been memorizing at church), and the example of Kiffin. I'm still trying to work it exactly as I would like it, but here it is so far:

May the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and the God of your father
be merciful and gracious to you
and bless you with abounding steadfast love and faithfulness
so that by the power of his Spirit
you might know peace and life and hope and joy.
In Jesus' name, amen.

How about you? Are benedictions a part of your family worship? How do you use them? What are your favourites?

Post from: Julian Freeman

A Blessing

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Outside of Christ, nothing brings me more joy than the three women in my life. If you know me, you know I don't come close to deserving them or their love, but God has granted me both. And I like thinking about that, so I thought I'd post it here.

Our Fighter Verse this week at GFC is Psalm 103.1: 'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me. Bless his holy name!' That is definitely my response to him this week for all his blessings on my life.

Post from: Julian Freeman

The Three Most Beautiful Women in the World

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Here's the link where you can read all about it! Or, click on the logo to go order flowers for Mothers Day (yes, it's coming fast!).

Post from: Julian Freeman

Family Business in the Star!

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